Drinking coffee shrinks breasts size!

Blame Starbucks! Blame CBTL! Blame Indocafe! Blame Nescafe! (Sung to the tune of “Blame Canada” on South Park.)

Swedish researchers discovered, drinking lots of coffee reduces the size of women’s breasts.

(Don’t researchers study anything important anymore, like a cure for cancer?)

The chief oncologist of the study, Helena Jernstroem, was observing data linking large-breasted women to an increased risk of a breast cancer diagnosis, when she found the link between coffee and breasts. The correlation being that, those ladies who drink three cups of coffee per day can decrease the odds of breast cancer. Scientists said that the effect of coffee is related to its impact on estrogens – the female sex hormones. Some substances in coffee can change a woman’s metabolism so she acquires a better configuration of various estrogens, therefore lowering the potential risk.

The Swedish studies found that about half of women carry the gene that is responsible for the breasts shrinkage in coffee drinkers. According to a study published in the British Journal of Cancer, that questioned 300 women about how much coffee they drank per day, women who drank three or more cups of coffee per day had breasts that were 17 percent smaller than women who drank less than three cups per day.

Jernstroem assured us, “They will get smaller but the breasts aren’t just going to disappear.”

Though she did add, “Anyone who thinks they can tell which women are coffee drinkers just from their bra measurements will be disappointed.” Adding, “The problem is that there are two measures for a bra — the cup size and the girth, so you wouldn’t be able to tell.”

Yikes, well that’s not so reassuring.

Good thing that the myth of all men drooling over large boobs is just that: a myth. Therefore, us tiny-cup-sizes can keep on sipping our flat whites with wild abandon!

Should you stop drinking coffee?

I say no. There are some things about this study that don’t exactly sound the alarm.

First, it was self-reported – meaning that the information was gathered based on each subject’s memory. When one woman recalls drinking three cups of coffee, it might have actually been six cups of coffee (and were they double lattes?) or just two. So, there’s ambiguity there. Also, in terms of studies, this one was rather small. While 300 women might sound like a lot, meaningful, applicable data is best taken from much larger studies.

Don’t feel compelled to ditch your daily coffee habit – especially if you enjoy it and it makes you happy (seriously, coffee makes me happy!). But, I think this study is a good reminder of the old saying: “all things in moderation.” So, keep your coffee intake under three cups (or three shots) per day say medical experts. Alternatively, one can enhance the breasts size naturally by using this.

How much coffee or other caffeinated beverages do you drink a day? If you drink large amounts, just curious, do you have small breasts?